1.
Step to the end of the board
untangle
overpowering dread.
2.
Turn and face the windows
don’t look through to the trees
just beyond.
3.
Lock gaze with the black
strip at the end
of the board
take a breath.
4.
Close eyes
5.
sound rushes in.
Boards bounce,
swimmers kick,
lights relentlessly hum down.
6.
Open eyes,
raise arms,
lift up onto toes
let the board begin to pulse
3, 2, 1, go.
7.
Instructions, clear in my mind
don’t translate, my body remains fixed,
firmly planted to the metronomic board.
3, 2, 1, go.
Stay.
8.
It was the wrong
pattern, that was all.
Change the pattern.
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, go.
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, go.
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, go.
1, 2, stop.
No, this isn’t working.
9.
Find a new
pattern, try again.
1, 2, 3, 4.
1, 2, 3, 4.
Go on 4 Ingrid.
1, 2, 3, 4.
1, 2, 3, 4.
1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4.
10.
Legs begin to shake, tiring
from the standoff between
two inches of metal,
three meters of air
separating my body
and the water.
Sound collects overhead
drips thickly, down
into my ears, bursts
past my eardrums, spills over
into my vision
casting the blue
board, the red
windowsill
into varying shades of gray.
Minutes pass.
I stand
trapped inside my countdown.
Suddenly something changes.
The noise begins to lift
light floods back into my eyes
3, 2, 1, go.
A simple act
circle arms, bend legs,
let the board push me
up and back into the air.
Ceiling and water blur into one,
I feel the water approaching beneath
kick out and grab my hands,
disappear
beneath the surface.
11.
Step to the end of the board
untangle
overpowering dread.
Clip of the video that played on loop on the left screen of my thesis installation, Between Control and Letting Go.
Jewett Arts Center, Wellesley College, MA, 2019.
Video that played on loop on the right screen of my thesis installation, Between Control and Letting Go.
Jewett Arts Center, Wellesley College, MA, 2019.
Walkthrough of my thesis installation, Between Control and Letting Go.
Jewett Arts Center, Wellesley College, MA, 2019.